In the past year I've met & dated some amazing guys. Two of these guys wanted to shower me with love and treat me like a princess. I loved both these men in different ways but let fear of the future and a crush on another man screw up both relationships. I hurt both the men I dated because I "had feelings" for another guy that I'm "friends" with. I am an idiot. Clear and simple. An idiot.
When I dated "D" I had a HUGE crush on my "friend". I couldn't continue our relationship because I thought the "friend" and I had a shot. Then I dated "K" and REALLY thought I was ready for a relationship. We were moving forward and BOOM! Fear kicked in. I also still had some unresolved feelings for my "friend". I hurt the feelings of "K" and "D" because of my fear and my unresolved feelings for my "friend". The "friend" & I eventually hooked up, making my feelings stronger for him. I thought he actually liked me. I now realize I was stupid. I know, I know......we all make mistakes. I think one of the reasons I dug the "friend" so much was because he reminded me of my EX. YEP. The "jackass" EX.
I KNOW now that I'm obviously not ready for a fabulous man. I've had two & let them slip away. Not sure the feelings for my "friend" are as strong as I think. There's the possibility I'm holding onto that so I don't have to commit. Guess all this means I'm not ready. Can't lie though.....when I found my "friend" started dating another girl I felt my heart hurt. My face got red & I felt like I'd been slapped.
Well....look at that..."BitterMel" has a soft spot The "Bitter" girl has a boo boo & feels like a fool. Karmas a bitch. I asked for this one. Still sucks though.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
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