I'm a total mess......I can admit that. There is a laundry list of things wrong with me. SO not a perfect person.........no one is. The past 9 months have been traumatic, stressful, and emotional. I screw up..lots! My screw ups are both professional and personal.
One such screw up happened last weekend. A professional screw up which I truly hate! I did something wrong. I was irresponsible and immature. My mistake wasn't a massive one. No one was hurt, the company's image wasn't tarnished and I didn't get naked in public, which is always a bonus! I did however have to come in to work on Monday morning and appologize for my behavior to a co-worker and good friend. I also told my boss what happened. He wasn't around when my screw up occured and he may have never known about it, but I'm one of those people that takes responsiblity for my actions. At least I try to. Mistakes happen and when I make one I step up and admit my wrong doing. I try to always be accountable for my actions.
Ya don't see many people taking responsibility for themselves anymore. If someone is overweight, they blame the fast food folks. If someone commits a crime, they blame society. The soon to be EX "CJ" is like this. He screwed around on me constantly and his actions were "my fault." WTH?? If he had a problem at work or if one of his competitions didn't go his way it was because someone was "jealous" of him. REALLY??? COME ON! At some point, as a grown up, you have to accept responsibility for your actions. If you blame someone else for all your problems then the problem may be you.
A few weeks ago Jenny Sanford, wife of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, made a public comment about her husbands recent affair. She said she felt her husband's much publicized affair with a South American woman was "almost like an addiction to alcohol or pornography."
She went on to say that she thought he was having something of a mid-life crisis. HUH?? Months ago not only did he admit to a year long affair with a woman from South American but called her his "soul mate" to the press. He ALSO admitted to other indiscretions in the past. Does a mid-life crisis last 20 years??? This just seems like mid-life jackassery to me!
Why is it a "mid-life crisis" is an excuse for men to be unfaithful?? Ya rarely hear of women cheating and blaming menopause for their actions.
Again, I am not perfect. I certainly don't have a halo over my head. I've made numerous mistakes in my life. That being said, I try to own my mistakes and learn from them.
If you're a fat ass, get outta the McDonald's drive thru! If you cheat on your husband or wife, accept the fact that YOU screwed up. If you commit a crime, recognize that YOU are accountable for your behavior! Step-up! Accept the consequences for your actions and stop blaming someone or something for what you did. Less jackassery behavior would make me wanna stop pulling people outta the gene pool!!!!!!!! :)
Friday, August 28, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
Twitter THIS!
What the hell is with all the Twitter stuff??? I'm the first to admit that I am extremely "social." I have a Facebook page, a My Space page, and this blog but I do not get the whole Twitter thing. Most of the people I know that Twitter "follow" people they don't know. It's like a cyber-stalking thing. I can't keep up with all the people I know and like, why the hell do I wanna follow around some random I don't know. Some people that Twitter or send "Tweets" will meet up with people that follow them or meet with people they follow at bars and hang out. What?? You're gonna meet up with a bunch of people you know very little about?? Why don't ya just join Charlie Manson and The Family? Maybe I just don't understand it fully. I am so not "Ms. Technology." What I do know just creeps me out a bit. And the people that send "Tweets" every 5 seconds........about themselves OR other things that they THINK I might be interested in....LET IT GO! If I care, I'll hear or read about it eventually. Thanks though...I don't need an e-mail from you to let me know you just "Tweeted" If I wanted to be a part of Twitter...I'd sign up!
Sunday, August 16, 2009
There is a reason they are an "EX"
Always remember....there IS a reason that someone is an "EX." Doesn't matter if it's an ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, ex-hair stylist, ex-plumber. Go with your gut. You got rid of that person for a reason or it didn't work out for a reason. Women always second guess themselves....maybe some men do too, but as a woman I know I don't always go with my gut. If there is one thing I've learned from this last fiasco of a marriage, it's that my instinct and gut reaction are what I need to believe in.
People can change. I do believe that is true. I've dated a guy off and on for over 20 years. He was my high school sweetheart. We dated after high school, in our 20's, after my first divorce, and relatively recently. This last time we hung out I noticed many changes in him. He has a child now and is a wonderful Dad. He was more caring and attentive to me and totally made sure he was always available for his daughter. I thought to myself, "WOW! He finally grew up." Of course, I spoke too soon. As much as he had changed he was still essentially the same guy I had dated 10/15 years before........adorable, cocky, loud, annoying, unable to discuss his feelings, and LOVES the ladies. He's not a bad guy. Deep down he is a sweetheart. He just doesn't want to grow up and deal with real feelings.
Ya can't go back. You may not realize it after time has passed but there IS a reason that someone is an "EX." They can change and grow as people but the annoying traits they had when you were together are still there no matter how many years go by. Don't feel bad, don't make excuses. People are who they are. Ya gotta accept it and move on.
That being said.....you can still call them names behind their backs if they hurt your feelings. Hey, a person may experience change and growth but they are still an "EX" for a reason which means they can still suck at life as I like to say! :)
People can change. I do believe that is true. I've dated a guy off and on for over 20 years. He was my high school sweetheart. We dated after high school, in our 20's, after my first divorce, and relatively recently. This last time we hung out I noticed many changes in him. He has a child now and is a wonderful Dad. He was more caring and attentive to me and totally made sure he was always available for his daughter. I thought to myself, "WOW! He finally grew up." Of course, I spoke too soon. As much as he had changed he was still essentially the same guy I had dated 10/15 years before........adorable, cocky, loud, annoying, unable to discuss his feelings, and LOVES the ladies. He's not a bad guy. Deep down he is a sweetheart. He just doesn't want to grow up and deal with real feelings.
Ya can't go back. You may not realize it after time has passed but there IS a reason that someone is an "EX." They can change and grow as people but the annoying traits they had when you were together are still there no matter how many years go by. Don't feel bad, don't make excuses. People are who they are. Ya gotta accept it and move on.
That being said.....you can still call them names behind their backs if they hurt your feelings. Hey, a person may experience change and growth but they are still an "EX" for a reason which means they can still suck at life as I like to say! :)
Friday, August 14, 2009
Please Press 1
Hola....Que' Pasa?
It's the little things that annoy the hell outta me. Why is it that we live in the United States of America and we have to freakin' press 1 for English?? Every time I call my bank or mortgage company I have to press 1 for information in English. Shouldn't English be a given? Why am I pressing 1 to hear information given to me in the language of my country?
I realize there are people from all over the world in the U.S. I also get that we have quite a large part of the population that speaks Spanish. But if I travel to another country I don't expect the people of that country to speak English. If they do.........BONUS! It's not something I would expect though.
A few years ago I spent some time in Italy. Gorgeous country! I had a wonderful time there! Oh, by the way, I do not speak Italian. I drank, ate, shopped, and saw the sights. Not once did I get upset that people spoke Italian. I WAS IN ITALY!!!!!!!!! Made sense to me!
I would never travel to another country, for instance, Mexico, and expect someone there to say to me "Hey, how's your Mama and them?" or "Yo, how YOU doin'?" I would expect them to say "Hola!" "Que Pasa?" 'cause it's Mexico and Spanish is their first language.
I realize that America is a melting pot but in EVERY state here in America, English is spoken. If you choose not to speak English, that's fine. But if that's the case, then YOU PRESS 1!!!!!!!!
It's the little things that annoy the hell outta me. Why is it that we live in the United States of America and we have to freakin' press 1 for English?? Every time I call my bank or mortgage company I have to press 1 for information in English. Shouldn't English be a given? Why am I pressing 1 to hear information given to me in the language of my country?
I realize there are people from all over the world in the U.S. I also get that we have quite a large part of the population that speaks Spanish. But if I travel to another country I don't expect the people of that country to speak English. If they do.........BONUS! It's not something I would expect though.
A few years ago I spent some time in Italy. Gorgeous country! I had a wonderful time there! Oh, by the way, I do not speak Italian. I drank, ate, shopped, and saw the sights. Not once did I get upset that people spoke Italian. I WAS IN ITALY!!!!!!!!! Made sense to me!
I would never travel to another country, for instance, Mexico, and expect someone there to say to me "Hey, how's your Mama and them?" or "Yo, how YOU doin'?" I would expect them to say "Hola!" "Que Pasa?" 'cause it's Mexico and Spanish is their first language.
I realize that America is a melting pot but in EVERY state here in America, English is spoken. If you choose not to speak English, that's fine. But if that's the case, then YOU PRESS 1!!!!!!!!
Thursday, August 13, 2009
My Eyes Are Burning!!
The last few days I have encountered some seriously stinky people and it's freakin' driving me nuts!!!!!! THIS is the type of thing that'll make me loose it! Big stuff I'm fine with........stupid daily stuff.......SNAP!
Yesterday I was at lunch with a girlfriend and an older woman walked past our table. Within two minutes of her walking past our table, my eyes started burning! Her perfume was SO overwhelming that it immediately offended my allergies/sinus'. Hell the sad thing is we were sitting in a booth in the bar area since we both smoke. This woman's scent was so strong you could smell it over the cigarette smoke. And not only did it stink it lingered! UGH!!!! THAT is the worst!! Thank goodness we were finished eating. We had to leave soon after the woman walked by because I couldn't take it. My eyes were watering and burning from her scent. Here's a hint.......if your perfume/cologne is SO strong that people's eyes are burning, it may be a horrid freakin' scent. OR, and I hate to state the obvious, but you may have TOO MUCH CRAP ON!!!!!!!
6am on Tuesday morning I'm at work in the breakroom getting a cup of coffee. A lady who works in the office was there making her breakfast. Microwave bacon and a bagel. I'm not even done pouring my coffee and over the smell of the bacon...........her perfume! REALLY?! When you have on perfume that overtakes the smell of bacon, ya may have too much on!! OR maybe it's just some rancid perfume! I mean, bacon is a pretty powerful smell!
Last Saturday I had to go into work for a bit. A guy that works for our sister station had walked into the building a few seconds before me. As I walk in the building I walk into a flippin' mass of cologne. He had SO much on that it trailed behind him. He was in his office down the hall from my desk and I could STILL smell it. Yuck! Not attractive boys! Chicks dig a guy that smells good but not a guy that bathes in cologne. Your NOT supposed to shower with it!
Two weeks ago I had to go to the doc's for a swollen eye. Thought it was pink eye but it turned out just to be some type of allergic reaction. I have no doubt that the interns who were in the building that week drenched in perfume contributed to the breakout. As I am in the waiting room an elderly woman comes into the waiting room. She smelled SO bad that my eye immediately began to tear up. I had to ask the nurse to let me wait for the doc in a room in the back. How could she not know how strong she smelled??? Killed me!
Now as I stated above, I am a smoker. Cigarette smoke is stinky....I am aware of this. I am a considerate smoker though. If I'm with friends that do not smoke I will ask before I light up. If someone in the group asks me not to smoke, I won't do it. It's rude. I'm more than happy to take my nasty habit outside. I've got no problem with this. I've got serious allergies (the smoking is not so good for them) and totally understand people who are sensitive to smells. I KNOW that the smoke is not a pleasant smell....I get it. How do others NOT get that they stink?? Are they THAT clueless??
Here's my tip for the day people: SPRAY, DELAY, AND WALK AWAY!!!! Don't pour the flippin' bottle on yourself. When you put on the cologne/perfume and wonder to yourself if you have enough on..........YOU HAVE ENOUGH ON!!!!!!
Have a nice day! :)
Yesterday I was at lunch with a girlfriend and an older woman walked past our table. Within two minutes of her walking past our table, my eyes started burning! Her perfume was SO overwhelming that it immediately offended my allergies/sinus'. Hell the sad thing is we were sitting in a booth in the bar area since we both smoke. This woman's scent was so strong you could smell it over the cigarette smoke. And not only did it stink it lingered! UGH!!!! THAT is the worst!! Thank goodness we were finished eating. We had to leave soon after the woman walked by because I couldn't take it. My eyes were watering and burning from her scent. Here's a hint.......if your perfume/cologne is SO strong that people's eyes are burning, it may be a horrid freakin' scent. OR, and I hate to state the obvious, but you may have TOO MUCH CRAP ON!!!!!!!
6am on Tuesday morning I'm at work in the breakroom getting a cup of coffee. A lady who works in the office was there making her breakfast. Microwave bacon and a bagel. I'm not even done pouring my coffee and over the smell of the bacon...........her perfume! REALLY?! When you have on perfume that overtakes the smell of bacon, ya may have too much on!! OR maybe it's just some rancid perfume! I mean, bacon is a pretty powerful smell!
Last Saturday I had to go into work for a bit. A guy that works for our sister station had walked into the building a few seconds before me. As I walk in the building I walk into a flippin' mass of cologne. He had SO much on that it trailed behind him. He was in his office down the hall from my desk and I could STILL smell it. Yuck! Not attractive boys! Chicks dig a guy that smells good but not a guy that bathes in cologne. Your NOT supposed to shower with it!
Two weeks ago I had to go to the doc's for a swollen eye. Thought it was pink eye but it turned out just to be some type of allergic reaction. I have no doubt that the interns who were in the building that week drenched in perfume contributed to the breakout. As I am in the waiting room an elderly woman comes into the waiting room. She smelled SO bad that my eye immediately began to tear up. I had to ask the nurse to let me wait for the doc in a room in the back. How could she not know how strong she smelled??? Killed me!
Now as I stated above, I am a smoker. Cigarette smoke is stinky....I am aware of this. I am a considerate smoker though. If I'm with friends that do not smoke I will ask before I light up. If someone in the group asks me not to smoke, I won't do it. It's rude. I'm more than happy to take my nasty habit outside. I've got no problem with this. I've got serious allergies (the smoking is not so good for them) and totally understand people who are sensitive to smells. I KNOW that the smoke is not a pleasant smell....I get it. How do others NOT get that they stink?? Are they THAT clueless??
Here's my tip for the day people: SPRAY, DELAY, AND WALK AWAY!!!! Don't pour the flippin' bottle on yourself. When you put on the cologne/perfume and wonder to yourself if you have enough on..........YOU HAVE ENOUGH ON!!!!!!
Have a nice day! :)
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
To Growl or Not to Growl
Soooooo...the EX and I have been separated now for 9 months. I think it's ok for me to discuss my dating life since he had girlfriends all through our marriage. Oh, and he's currently living with one of them, so yeah..I think I'm good!
COUGAR: a middle-aged woman who seeks out much younger men for romance or physical intimacy. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male.
Here's my dilemma: In the past few months only younger guys have asked me out. The oldest guy I've gone out with was 30. Don't get me wrong........I totally dig it!! I'm psyched that guys think I'm younger. I don't think I look 39 and I KNOW I don't act it! I can admit that I'm a bit immature for my age, I don't have kids, I have tattoos, I work in radio and like loud rock. I can see how a guy would think I'm younger. But am I a COUGAR??
When I'm out, which isn't that often, I don't "chase" or go after younger guys. That being said, I am attracted to younger guys. I like to have fun and I have NO desire to settle down or get married again. This makes guys in their 20's and early 30's appealing to me. We usually enjoy the same music, movies, etc. Long term relationships are NOT what younger guys are thinking about. Perfect for me! But again, am I considered a COUGAR??
I would not rule out dating a guy my age or older. Usually these guys are more stable, financially secure, and reliable. I don't really have a "type" physically. I'm attracted to guys that are confident and outgoing. But many times older guys or guys in their late 30's have baggage. Baggage means drama and I am so not with drama. Had that.......and LOTS of it! We all have some type of baggage, I realize that but I'm still trying to drop off some serious "baggage" at the nearest divorce airport and really can't deal with anyone else's "issues" at the moment.
So, am I a COUGAR?? I don't think I am. I don't purposely go after guys that are younger. Younger guys just seem to be into me at the moment. Do I enjoy it? Hell yes!!! I'm not complaining! Besides, age is just a number. If you are attracted to somone and have fun with them then I say go for it. If society has to put a label on it, then I guess I'm all about a big 'ole GRRRRROWL!!!!!!! Giddy-up!
COUGAR: a middle-aged woman who seeks out much younger men for romance or physical intimacy. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male.
Here's my dilemma: In the past few months only younger guys have asked me out. The oldest guy I've gone out with was 30. Don't get me wrong........I totally dig it!! I'm psyched that guys think I'm younger. I don't think I look 39 and I KNOW I don't act it! I can admit that I'm a bit immature for my age, I don't have kids, I have tattoos, I work in radio and like loud rock. I can see how a guy would think I'm younger. But am I a COUGAR??
When I'm out, which isn't that often, I don't "chase" or go after younger guys. That being said, I am attracted to younger guys. I like to have fun and I have NO desire to settle down or get married again. This makes guys in their 20's and early 30's appealing to me. We usually enjoy the same music, movies, etc. Long term relationships are NOT what younger guys are thinking about. Perfect for me! But again, am I considered a COUGAR??
I would not rule out dating a guy my age or older. Usually these guys are more stable, financially secure, and reliable. I don't really have a "type" physically. I'm attracted to guys that are confident and outgoing. But many times older guys or guys in their late 30's have baggage. Baggage means drama and I am so not with drama. Had that.......and LOTS of it! We all have some type of baggage, I realize that but I'm still trying to drop off some serious "baggage" at the nearest divorce airport and really can't deal with anyone else's "issues" at the moment.
So, am I a COUGAR?? I don't think I am. I don't purposely go after guys that are younger. Younger guys just seem to be into me at the moment. Do I enjoy it? Hell yes!!! I'm not complaining! Besides, age is just a number. If you are attracted to somone and have fun with them then I say go for it. If society has to put a label on it, then I guess I'm all about a big 'ole GRRRRROWL!!!!!!! Giddy-up!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Understanding & Accepting the Bitterness
I've never blogged before so all this is new to me. My fabulous co-workers thought this might be a way for me to get out some anger. As angry & bitter as I am, I do try to be humorous. Laughing helps me not have a freaking breakdown. :)
Hi...I'm Melany and I'm just a bit bitter. In order to understand my bitterness, I think summary of the past 9 months is in order. I'm a talker but I'll make it brief.
Met the man of my dreams in 2004. We dated for a few years and married in January of 2006. Less than a year into our marriage I found out my husband had been cheating on me since BEFORE we got married. Not only had he been sleeping with someone I knew for over a year but he also admitted to sleeping with a woman he worked with. Nice. I know...doesn't make a ton of sense does it? Why would a man get married if he had a girlfriend on the side. I never understood that either. Why screw someone else's life up? Mind boggling really.
After discovering the cheating.......and it was more than just an affair....lots of sick and twisted stuff that I'd rather not get into....I decided to try and forgive him. Not really me, quite honestly. I'm the "Pack up and get out" kinda girl. BUT, I loved him so very much and thought we could make it work. We attend marriage counseling a few times, but "CJ", as the ex will be referred to here, only went a few times. Thank God I kept attending counseling..I still go. I know it's what has helped to keep me sane.
I continued to attend counseling to try and learn to forgive "CJ" I did pretty well but I cannot lie. I never did get all the disturbing visuals outta my head. I guess I never fully forgave him. I did try my hardest though to make the marriage work.
A year went by and I discovered he was cheating again. Stayed with him. Then in October of 2008 I discovered ANOTHER girlfriend. THIS one did it! Total, I know of four women. I have NO doubt there are/were more.
Soooooooo....the cheating husband prompted my bitterness. Left him in our home and moved into an apartment with my two dogs. ALL the major things we acquired in our marriage were in my name....house loan, car loans, 2nd mortgage, etc. He makes twice as much money as me but he always said he had "bad credit." I was pretty cool....wasn't trying to screw him out of money, just wanted out of the marriage. Sadly, it didn't go that smoothly.
So now, seven months after leaving "CJ" I am looking at bankruptcy. He didn't live up to any of his financial obligations. I know......SHOCKER!! Why I believed a cheating idiot would really honor what he said he would financially I'll never know. He's basically left me around 300,000 in debt. Ain't he a peach?? THIS is where the serious bitterness comes in.
I not only wasted six good years on a lying scumbbag, but now my 700+ credit rating is in the toliet. Bitter....damn skippy! Have I accepted it.....yes. I think embracing the bitterness has kept me from falling apart. Bitter & angry is better than being drunk in the Betty Ford Center.... I think!
Hi...I'm Melany and I'm just a bit bitter. In order to understand my bitterness, I think summary of the past 9 months is in order. I'm a talker but I'll make it brief.
Met the man of my dreams in 2004. We dated for a few years and married in January of 2006. Less than a year into our marriage I found out my husband had been cheating on me since BEFORE we got married. Not only had he been sleeping with someone I knew for over a year but he also admitted to sleeping with a woman he worked with. Nice. I know...doesn't make a ton of sense does it? Why would a man get married if he had a girlfriend on the side. I never understood that either. Why screw someone else's life up? Mind boggling really.
After discovering the cheating.......and it was more than just an affair....lots of sick and twisted stuff that I'd rather not get into....I decided to try and forgive him. Not really me, quite honestly. I'm the "Pack up and get out" kinda girl. BUT, I loved him so very much and thought we could make it work. We attend marriage counseling a few times, but "CJ", as the ex will be referred to here, only went a few times. Thank God I kept attending counseling..I still go. I know it's what has helped to keep me sane.
I continued to attend counseling to try and learn to forgive "CJ" I did pretty well but I cannot lie. I never did get all the disturbing visuals outta my head. I guess I never fully forgave him. I did try my hardest though to make the marriage work.
A year went by and I discovered he was cheating again. Stayed with him. Then in October of 2008 I discovered ANOTHER girlfriend. THIS one did it! Total, I know of four women. I have NO doubt there are/were more.
Soooooooo....the cheating husband prompted my bitterness. Left him in our home and moved into an apartment with my two dogs. ALL the major things we acquired in our marriage were in my name....house loan, car loans, 2nd mortgage, etc. He makes twice as much money as me but he always said he had "bad credit." I was pretty cool....wasn't trying to screw him out of money, just wanted out of the marriage. Sadly, it didn't go that smoothly.
So now, seven months after leaving "CJ" I am looking at bankruptcy. He didn't live up to any of his financial obligations. I know......SHOCKER!! Why I believed a cheating idiot would really honor what he said he would financially I'll never know. He's basically left me around 300,000 in debt. Ain't he a peach?? THIS is where the serious bitterness comes in.
I not only wasted six good years on a lying scumbbag, but now my 700+ credit rating is in the toliet. Bitter....damn skippy! Have I accepted it.....yes. I think embracing the bitterness has kept me from falling apart. Bitter & angry is better than being drunk in the Betty Ford Center.... I think!
Friday, August 7, 2009
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