THE List

Recently, my Mom gave me a plant with little red & yellow flags in it. On each of the flags, there was a word. "Available." "Caring." "Honest." "Financially Stable." You get the idea. The point of the plant was for me to recognize "red flags" when beginning a relationship. I got a big problem with that, as do many chicks. Sooooooo......in honor of my Mom & her plant, my girls and I got together and came up with a list of things that are red flags. Quite honestly, I don't think we girls ask for too much. Most of the below involves common sense. Below is "THE List."

WARNING: Numerous cocktails were consumed while coming up with this list. I've cleaned it up as much as possible but know going in, it gets a bit racy at times. Enjoy!

THE LIST:
* No Teeth
* No Job
* Lives with his Mom
* Married
* Tells you "I'm leaving my wife for you....just give me some time."
* Only hits you up after 1am..........that is a "BOOTY CALL" If ya need a little fine, but he ain't a keeper
* Only texts or hits you up on Facebook but won't call you. That means he just isn't THAT into you
* Beer gut bigger than your boobs
* Man boobs
* Tan line on ring finger
* Lives with wife but says they are "separated."
* Wears "man jewelry" in excess.....lots of gold
* No Jorts
* Refuses to send flowers because he says "they die." WTH?? Ya drink beer and piss that away.....what's the difference??!
* No driver's license
* Wears socks with sandals
* If he calls you by a different name.........gotta go.
* Only comes to your place but won't invite you to his.
* No slobs
* Can't carry on a conversation and be social
* Doesn't have an IQ higher than your dog's
* Likes your friends
* Isn't jealous
* Can't have the same birthday
* No cops
* No drug addicts, alcoholics, steroid users
* No Strongmen
* No comb-overs
* Must have some "experience"
* No bad kissers
* No men that use more hair product than you
* No gay men (for dating) If he watches "The View" or "Oprah" he's gotta go!
* No ex-boyfriends........except for sex
* No bad shoes
* No "sweater" back hair
* No mullets or ratails
* If you're going bald....rock it! No wigs, hair plugs, etc.
* No shaving of the arms/legs. Be a dude!
* No Speedo wearers
* Manscape....google it!
* NO heavy cologne users.....shower up boys!
* No "forcing".......think about it
* No "putting that THERE" without a discussion first. Ass-play without warning is out!